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Autobiography
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I have been writing my manuscript (Breaking the Chain) for the past two years, (since 2002). Initially it started as a self-help tool. I began to write down my thoughts, memories and feelings whilst receiving counselling, something that I had denied the need for approximately 8-9 years. I found that it helped me to write things down before talking about them, especially as some things I had started to talk and think about had never been said out loud. After leaving hospital in Apr 2003, I decided to turn my work into a book in the hope that it would provide some inspiration to others. BREAKING THE CHAIN - By Samantha Weaver PREFACE: This book has been written especially for those who have suffered at the hands of parents; who should have protected, guided, nurtured and loved them, but for whatever reason, did not. It has been written as a sign of hope and inspiration for individuals that have experienced the negative side to life, for those that may suffer with depression, who believe that life will never offer them anything other than trauma, upset, anguish and pain. Leaving the psychiatric hospital after a month long stay because of a suicide attempt whilst suffering with severe Depression most of my life, it hit me hard that I had to use everything I had learned if I wanted to survive and be happy. I had to be determined, I had to be strong, I had to encourage myself to argue with my negative ‘chatterbox’, I had to know that I would never again experience the feelings of angst, anger, sadness, isolation and depression to that extent ever again Dragged up on a rough council estate, abused, neglected, starved of love and support, my experiences as a child with a complicit mother and severely disturbed father had scarred me for most of my life. I was finally given the chance to exorcise my demons, rid myself of anger in a controlled fashion and believe that there was a chance for future happiness. All of my best efforts to ‘get better’ had failed me. Leaving a trail of broken relationships and friendships, a feeling of guilt, frustration and isolation, depression had undoubtedly exhumed my life. Pushing away the people that were trying to help me, by testing them harshly and continuously, I could finally take no more. Throughout the book I talk about my past experiences and explain my feelings of rejection, confusion and anger. I talk about the ways in which I exasperated my issues in day to day life, and then in a safe and controlled manner whilst hospitalised for severe depression. Battling daily with feelings of hate and immense anxiety, I explain how I protected myself day- by-day by creating and living in a fantasy world, enveloping myself within self-constructed mental barriers. I talk about how I lived my life cocooned and impenetrable in an attempt to protect myself from my surroundings and from being hurt any more. Since leaving hospital, I am confident in my beliefs that we all have a purpose in life. I have experienced a lot in 25years than I believe most ordinary people would experience in their lifetime. I go on to explain how I believe that my experiences have made me a much stronger person and given me the courage I needed in order to succeed in life according to my own standards. In effect my autobiography is a new chapter, a fresh start in my life, yet at the same time, final closure to a past full of pain, which I do not believe any person living in today’s society should ever have to endure. I truly hope that my book is viewed as insightful and inspiring and that it helps those individuals that it is specifically aimed towards, to some extent, on their own personal journey of recovery. Although the feeling of isolation will undoubtedly be present for these people and everyone’s story is unique to them, I hope that it will encourage people to do what they need to in order to live a happy, more contented and fulfilled life. Unfortunately, life really is not a ‘bed of roses’ for many people in this day and age. It is a learning experience from day one for everyone. Some individuals are capable of dealing with their issues in their own way, however there are still a lot of people who, for whatever reason, do not have this ability and can not cope as well as others. Maybe because of underlying issues, and possibly because of the way in which their parents and surroundings as a child have had a negative affect on them, it is for these people that my book is written. It is shocking to find that certain aspects of parents behaviour, when directed toward their children, is still allowed to continue in this day and age, but ignorance to this reality, only contributes to the fact that the problem continues. There is help out there, it isn’t always easy to find, but if you want it bad enough, you will find it and if you want to get better, you will get there on day. It is not an easy road to recovery, you have to get worse before you can get better, but having the right support, the desire to succeed and the right attitude, I am living proof that hopefully, with the right insight and guidance, more people will get through this type of experience in the end. |
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| LAUNCH DATE FOR MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY - BREAKING THE CHAIN - |
| MORE USEFUL RESOURCES ABOUT DEPRESSION |
| DEPRESSION FROM AN ON-LOOKERS PERSPECTIVE - Stigma - Self-Esteem Friends: |
